overpriced juice
I am back from two weeks in Hawaii; rested, relaxed, sans an outer layer of skin, and married.
While staying in Maui at the Grand Wailea Hotel (where a hamburger costs $30) my path crossed with a couple of hundred MonaVie salespeople. If you don’t know what MonaVie is, chances are you never check your junk mail folder. MonaVie is what comes from Jesus’ eyes when he cries, bottled by Oprah, then packaged for you to purchase at $45 a pop so you can live forever (or something like that).
I gather business is good, good enough for a few hundred juice pushers and their families to spend 6 days at a five star hotel in Hawaii to go over “marketing and sales techniques”, which I assume is multi-level-marketing-slang for drinking $9 Coors Lights by the pool while your plastic wife and emotionally neglected kids annoy the crap out of good paying hotel guests.
The 2009 MonaVie Hawaii summit proved one thing - if you sell fancy juice in fancy bottles, every article of your clothing is emblazoned with your fancy corporate logo, and you can afford a fancy Hawaiian vacation - anyone who buys MonaVie from you is a sucker.
Stick with orange juice (just don’t buy it at the Grand Wailea Hotel, it’s $6 for a 4 ounce glass).